Here are some more Petty Annoyances that tighten my colon.
Loud TV Commercials – ever notice that when TV commercials come on, the volume coming from the broadcaster is way louder than the program you were watching? I hate to have the TV shouting at me, so I usually just hit the “mute” button as soon as a commercial comes on.
Car Insurance TV Ads – ever notice that most car insurance ads say that drivers who switch to their company save between $350 and $500 a year? The full coverage insurance on my Mercedes is only $741 per year. I haven’t found a company yet that will sell me car insurance for half price. Somebody is lying about average savings.
Traffic Cameras at intersections – the city says that the cameras were placed there to make the intersection safer. But the real reason is that the city makes so much money in traffic fines when the camera gives the tickets. I got one of their tickets about three years ago. They sent it to me in the mail. It said that I could just pay the fine of $80 and no points would go on my record. They also said that if I fought the ticket in court and lost, I’d have court costs, the fine and two points on my record. I paid the fine and felt the gun in my ribs as I wrote the check.
Gambling in Georgia – The Georgia State Legislature is debating a new law that would allow casino gambling in Georgia. The hypocrisy of those in opposition is that Georgia has had a lottery and a daily numbers game for over 15 years. Casinos in Georgia would be a great addition to our state.
Computer Hackers – Two weeks ago Friday evening, my wife opened a website that downloaded a virus into her computer. This thing was so bad that it kept popping up every time you moved the mouse, and would not let us remove it. I finally had to spend $40 on a program that would extract this thing from her computer. It cost me two days of effort to get rid of this thing. There was no reason for the virus. They weren’t trying to sell me anything. They just wanted to screw up our computer. There is a special deep level of hell for these people…shared with those who talk out loud in a theater.
Drivers in a Hurry – I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been at a stoplight when some driver behind me honks his horn when the light turns green, swerves left to pass, flips me the bird as he goes by, and flies ahead. Then, at the next traffic light…there he is, waiting for the green when I pull up behind his sorry ass.
People who mispronounce the word “ask” – They say “axe.” I’ve heard seemingly intelligent, well dressed people in offices do this. I’m not ever surprised when I hear it from uneducated low class people. But when I hear it, I always dismiss the speaker as a dolt, no matter how nicely that person is dressed.
Cats who tenderize you before they lie down on you – Does your cat use his front paws and claws to push on you, back and forth, before lying down? What the hell is that about?
My Garbage Man – The trash company tells me to make sure my trash cans are at the curb before 6:00 Monday morning. But they never pick up before noon.
Little Guys in the Bar – Short men seem to have attitude in bars. The thing that jerks my chain most is when I’m with friends…one of whom is short…and he shoots off his mouth and expects me…the biggest guy…to jump in and save is ass.
Sorry, friend. I was just sitting here minding my own business…